My Swing Lifestyle
My name is Rachel (not really but that was my favorite name when I was a little girl). I have been in the swinging lifestyle for a few years and I must tell you I have met a lot of friends in this lifestyle and have had a lot of fun at both swingers parties and swingers clubs. All in all it has been something that has added texture to my life and has enabled me to live out many sexual fantasies.
Anyone that has been in this lifestyle for any length of time can tell you that it is a mixed bag of experiences. Some great, some funny and yet some you would like to forget. I have been swinging as part of a couple and I know a lot of experiences I have been through are not unique.
Couples, before you go into this heads first (pun not intended!) read some of the things I have found that have affected couples negatively when swinging. Most importantly make sure you have a strong bond with one anotherï¿½and great communication as jealousy can rear its ugly head and cause many problems if the lines of communication are not open.
Does your wife really want to do this? If she is not sure, take it slow and do not push her into anything.
Make sure you donâ€™t drool after the other women/wives in front of your spouse. Women tend to have insecurities; if you value your marriage, (and really want to swing) you will keep your tongue in your mouth. You can feel that way of course but donâ€™t tell your wife!
Example of what not to say to your wife She is so hot! I really want to do her!. All the while treating your wife like a bag of potatoes. This will get you know where fast and may end your chances of truly participating in the swing lifestyle.
Telling your wife to take it for the team is not acceptable! When I first heard this (someone had told my husband just tell your wife to take it for the team) referring to the fact that my husband may be hot for the wife but I really was not attracted to the husband. I wanted to laugh, my husband would never tell me to do that. This is an example of a couple you should avoid at all costs. There are plenty of other couples out there where all participants will be attracted to one another!
When having a threesome (two women and you) make sure your wife does not feel left out. I know the other woman you are with may be new to you, but remember you go to bed with your wife every night! Make sure she is happily and enjoying this threesome as much as you. If she is happy it will happen again and that is truly the essence of swinging.
When going to swing clubs and parties do show your wife affection. If this is something you both are doing to spice up your sex life then it is equally as important that she feel you are both in this lifestyle together! If you tend to drift away and start to do things on your own without your significant other around that will only upset her and once again possibly ruin your chances of truly making this lifestyle a part of your lifestyle.
Remember, this is only sex to your husband. You are his wife and the sex you have together is much deeper and richer. Most men tend lose a little control in the beignning of entering this lifestyle as it is all new and exciting but deep donw he knows you are the one he wants to be with!
If you are not sure about swinging or if you really do not want to swing let your husband know. He is not a mind reader and to get mad or give mixed signals is not fair to him. Remember, always be honest and upfront with one another. That is the only way this lifestyle works without causing any problems at home.
Set ground rules so you both know what is acceptable and what is not. If you really feel there is something your or your husband should not do with the other couple then express it before you begin. You cannot get upset with your husband if he has no clue what upsets you. This should be RULE #1 for all swingers. Especially swingers just entering the lifestyle.
Example: You do not want your husband to kiss another woman in that special way he kisses you.
If you find yourself getting jealous (even though your husband is being sensitive to your needs) just get over it. Jealousy has no part in this lifestyle, it is a basic human emotion and does not always listen to logic so it may come up. If it is persistent, then maybe swinging is not for you.
Do not cause a scene if for some reason you get mad or feel that jealousy creeping up. PLEASE do not make a scene! Wait until you are alone with your husband and then talk about why or what caused you to feel this way. Just remember, the swinging lifestyle is a very small community and word gets around fast and you certainly do not want to get that reputation of being a jealous or loud couple that people will no longer want to swing with!
This lifestyle can add fun and enjoyment to your lives as long as you keep it light and fun. You will find some people that do play games and just want to put another notch on their belt. Listen to your intuition and you will find great friends and a lot of fun times.
Till Next time W
(courtesy of Lustydelights.com)