A: SexxyMofo organizes and hosts swinger parties throughout the year. We are a member-driven website, with thousands and thousands of swingers and swinging couples ready to meet other swingers in their area or anywhere in the United States. Hosting and organizing a swinger party for those in the lifestyle is our way of connecting to some of the most beautiful, open-minded, interesting, and fun people.

Q: Is there one particular swinger club that you host your swinger parties?

A: Many swinging parties take place at a number of swinger off clubs (off premise swinger parties) while other swinging parties may take place at a swinging couplesâ€™ home (on premise swinger party). Become a member and find a swinger party, swinger club, or swinging couple holding a swinging party.

Q. We are confused about on premise vs. off premise swingers clubs. Are on premise swingerâ€™s clubs just orgies?

A. Off premise clubs are often held in a public place, and do not allow sexual contact. They may or may not allow partial nudity, meaning topless, and some oral sex. On premise swingers clubs are usually held at a private location, which could be a private club with the proper licenses or a private house also known as house parties. On premise swingers clubs could be orgies, but they rarely are, unless advertised as such. They are usually just a place where sexual contact is allowed and encouraged. Most still have rules which must be honored, and as always, No means No. We know of house parties where participation is expected, and you need to know that upfront. Some clubs make accommodations for voyeurism, some have private rooms, others have both, and others may have themed rooms for every type of swinger or fantasy.

Q: I have heard the term "permissive" or "non-permissive?" What does this refer to?

A: The label of non-permissive is used to describe an event at which, due to the nature of the event, or its location, or simply due to the wishes of the host, sexual activity is not appropriate, and therefore, not permitted. Since we are respectful guests in another personâ€™s home, we honor the hostâ€™s wishes in this matter.

Other events may be labeled as â€œpermissive.â€ This simply means that sexual activity is permitted, or allowed, but never required.

Q: I am curious about the swinger lifestyle, but I feel a bit uncomfortable not understanding the swinger â€œlingoâ€ - speaking the swinger â€œlanguage.â€

A: While the swinging lifestyle does have some phrases and terminology that may not be familiar to you, being a swinger or involved in the lifestyle, to whatever degree, does not mean you have to familiar with the swinger terms; it is not a prerequisite to know the terms. You will find that the swingers and the swinger couples you meet are friendly â€“ easy to talk to. Within time you will pick up on the swinger lingo, as you put it. For a complete list of swinger terms look at our Swinger Glossary page.

Q: Are swinger lifestyle people "easy?"

A: No. You will find that swingers and swinging couples are at least as selective as the majority of people in the vanilla, or vertical world. Very few swingers or swinging couples are likely to play with someone in whom they feel no genuine interest or attraction.

Q: What if I attend a swinging party and I get rejected? How do I handle and deal with that?

A: Youâ€™ll have a chance to interact with many swingers both online and at a swinger party. The chemistry and interaction you feel with one another should become obvious; trust your instincts and be yourself. If indeed you do get rejected from a swinger or a swinger couple, then know that it was just not a good fit nothing more or less. There is no pressure, no elaboration, or justification is required. We are all adultsâ€¦besides sooner or later you will find that swinger or swinging couple who will be the fun and perfect fit for you.

Q. How do you tell people that you are not interested in them?

A: This can be a difficult thing to do. No one wants to hurt anyoneâ€™s feelings, and in general, most people just do not like to be the rejecter or the rejected.

The best way to do it is to be straight forward about it, and tell them right away. It is like pulling off a bandage, do it quickly, because it might hurt initially, but that goes away pretty soon. Be honest, but be nice. If there is no attraction, say so. You do not have to be too specific, as in, I like your wife, but my wife is not attracted to you. If the other couple asks why, well, then perhaps you should let them know, but again, be nice Swingers are usually a tight knot group and all truly understand how to respect others feelings.

We have met hundreds of wonderful swing couples in this Lifestyle. Many of them have become lifelong friends, but we have played with few of those friends. Sometimes, one of us was not attracted to the opposite of the other couple. Sometimes, neither of us was attracted to either of them. Sometimes, one or both of them was not attracted to us. But we liked them and enjoyed spending time with them, so we remained friends. Not everybody is willing to do that. Once rejected, some people become defensive, which can be a natural response.

One of the great things about most of the people in the Lifestyle is that they are open and honest with other Lifestyle couples. To continue that, it is best that you be open and honest with all couples you meet. Have fun with The Lifestyle and try not to make it too complicated.

Q: Iâ€™m a bit shy-- How can I make sure I`m not left sitting alone in a corner at a swinger party?

A: Donâ€™t sit alone in the corner at a party. No kidding. No one looks sociable when theyâ€™re sitting alone in the corner. Stay on your feet. Introduce yourself to someone you find interesting. Circulate. Do it again. Youâ€™re going to meet some great and interesting people. Theyâ€™re going to meet you. Youâ€™re all going to have fun, and before the partyâ€™s over, youâ€™re going to have made some new friends. Now, isnâ€™t that a lot more fun than sitting in the corner?

Q: What advice would you give to a swinging couple who are new to the swinging lifestyle?

A: First, join SexxyMofo today! Then start browsing through the swinger members, look for a swinger couple in your area.ï¿½ Start with some non-permissive events. Get to know people. Make some friends. Take things at your own paceâ€¦

A: Absolutely NOT. Check with the club owner. Also, most have websites where you can gather information. They should all have a set of rules or codes of conduct. The #1 Rule should be No means No. If it is not the #1 Rule at any swingers club you are looking to attend, we would not recommend you go there.

Q: Our marriage is in trouble. Will swinging help save our marriage?

A: No, and that is a common misconception. In fact, if you do not have a stable, loving, trusting relationship, you should not try swinging at all. When you first start out, both of you may experience a range of emotions, including jealousy and doubt. One partner may wonder why the other feels the need to have sexual relations with someone else in the first place. You MUST be able to openly and honestly communicate these feelings, and discuss them with your partner. Troubled marriages rarely have these traits, which may be one reason why there is trouble. Do not try swinging uless there is an open line of communication between you both.

Q. You talk a lot about couples. Are singles allowed to participate?

A: Oh yes, singles are welcome, and in many cases, can enhance the experience. Single women in particular are in high demand. On the other hand, single men are not always welcome at all Lifestyle events. Single men tend to make others feel uncomfortable and you will rarely find any swingers parties that allow single men in for that reason alone. Many couples tend to look for another female to share a threesome experience with.

Q. What is this bi curious thing?

A: A lot of people come into the Lifestyle because they have had certain feelings or fantasies and they want to explore them. Some of those may include have some form of sexual relations with the same sex. Most people who refer to themselves as bi curious want to try it, but have not done so yet. Some people keep the designation if they have tried it, liked it, would do it again, but still prefer the opposite sex.

Those that refer to themselves as bi, prefer to have sexual relations with the same sex. They will have sex with the opposite sex. In fact, many are in a conventional marriage, but when they play, they play with the same sex. Most times new couples or singles looking to get involved with swinging will say they are bi curious as a way to slowly dip their foot into the water so to speak with no major expectations from those they choose to meet and play with.

It is best to be respectful of everyoneâ€™s limits, and to discuss before beginning any sexual contact. That way, there will not be any unpleasant surprises.

Q. We would like to get into this lifestyle, but are afraid of family and friends finding out. How do we protect ourselves?

A: There are no 100% sure fire ways of protecting your identity. After all, the act of meeting someone in and of itself exposes you. Fortunately, 99.9% of the people in the Lifestyle feel the same way as you do, and will guard your secret in return for you guarding theirs. If those who enjoy meeting and playing with trust the fact you will keep your encounters together private it will make all feel more comfortable in the long run.

If you create a profile on one of the many swinger sites, like SexxyMofo, you do not have to post any pictures if you choose not to. You can also post pictures, but limit who can see them, as well as, post them in a Private Password Section that only you can grant another member access to see. We recommend that tactic, as most people will want to see at least a face picture before meeting. Many people use assumed names, assumed towns, and unfortunately, even assumed ages, to help protect their identity. We do not encourage lying about your age. The rest is fine, as long as you fess up about the truth if you click with the other couple.

Q. What is the difference between Soft Swap and Full Swap?

A: It is important that you understand the differences between these terms, as it will impact who is willing to be with you.

Soft Swap basically means that you will not have intercourse with the other couple. However, there are still limits as to how far some people will go. There are those that feel that kissing is too intimate, but oral sex is OK so you should just ask the other couple how they feel. Others allow touching, but no oral. You absolutely must establish what you are comfortable with, and find out what the other couple is willing to do, way before you start to play. This will avoid hurt feelings and embarrassing moments and allow a more comfortable environment to play in.

Full Swap means that the man from one couple will have full intercourse with the woman from the other couple. It is very important that all parties involved understand that this is a potential outcome, should you get together with them. However, there is no guarantee that intercourse will happen when the playtime starts No still means No, and no one should ever be pushed into doing something they are not comfortable with. It doesn`t matter that someone may have consented one time. It is not a given that it will happen every time. Respect everyone`s wishes at all times.

Q. We are concerned about Sexually Transmitted Diseases. Is this activity safe?

A: Sexually Transmitted Diseases are a concern in any sexually active group. We recommend that Safe Sex be practiced at all times in the lifestyle community. It is very difficult to know the sexual history of people you meet. Therefore, it is not worth the risk. There are so many different condoms on the market now that do not detract for the sexual pleasure and experience, that it makes no sense not to use them.

Q: Why the reluctance to include single men?

A: There are several reasons for this. One is that some men are not comfortable with just another man being involved with his partner, if he has no one to play with. Another reason is that some women are not comfortable with the idea of an unmarried man being with them. They are only interested in a shared experience with their partner.

Probably the biggest reason is that there are too many single men that just do not understand what the lifestyle is all about, and think of it as a free for all, or a sex smorgasbord. Those single men tend to be aggressive in pursuing women, and often do not show the kind of respect that women want and deserve which can lead to a very unpleasant situation.

Now, not all single men are like this. They DO show women respect, and just as importantly, they show respect to the male half, as well. Unfortunately, the bad ones have made it much harder for the good ones to hook up with couples. Many Lifestyle events exclude single men. Others allow them only if escorted by a couple, and the couple is responsible for the single males behavior.

SexxyMofos: Hot Swingers Looking For Sex

Related Links

See Also

Swingers Lifestyle FAQs